The Mirror: Sorting Ourselves from Others
The mirror can show us clearly,
or it can distort with shadows.
In the wake of betrayal, we must learn which reflection is ours to claim

After the fracture of trust, my mind has been a whirlwind. One moment, I’m angry. The next, I’m second-guessing myself. Was I too much? Too forgiving? Too naive? This is what happens when someone refuses responsibility — their deflection bounces back onto you like a distorted mirror

It’s tricky because we all carry our own old wounds. Times we were ignored, dismissed, or made to feel small. Those memories can make us extra tender, extra reactive. That’s the part of the mirror that belongs to us.

But then there’s the part that isn’t ours at all. When someone twists facts. When their actions don’t line up with their promises. When they refuse to own what they’ve done. That’s not reflection — that’s projection. And we don’t need to carry it.

The work is to stand before the mirror and ask: What here is mine, and what belongs to them? Our responsibility is to tend our wounds, not to absorb their denial.

This is the discernment I’m learning: owning my truth without letting someone else’s gaslighting rewrite it. It’s not easy, but it’s the only way forward.

Ritual Invitation

Sit with a journal and draw a line down the middle of the page.
On the left, write: “What is mine to own?”
On the right, write: “What is theirs to own?”
Fill each side honestly. When you finish, fold the page so that your side faces outward. Let that be your reminder: you don’t need to carry what isn’t yours.

Your Turn

Have you ever felt confused about what was yours to own after someone hurt you?
Share a few lines below — your clarity might be the mirror someone else needs.