The Ledger: Grounding Trust in Facts
Words can drift like smoke,
but facts are stones.
When trust wavers, the stones steady us.

One of the hardest parts of broken trust is how slippery it feels. Promises are made, but actions don’t align. Stories shift. Explanations change. And if you’re someone who leads with empathy, it’s easy to get swept into giving the benefit of the doubt again and again

I’ve been in that space this week — caught between my care for someone and the facts in front of me. Their intentions may be good. Their struggle may be real. But as psychology researcher Brené Brown reminds us, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” (Brown, 2018)

Clarity often means coming back to the ledger: what actually happened. Not what was promised, not what I hoped for, but what unfolded in reality. The late calls. The words unsaid. The actions that contradicted the apologies.

Writing it down is sobering, but it’s also freeing. The ledger doesn’t lie. It removes the fog of wishful thinking. It gives me permission to see what’s true without dismissing the other person’s humanity.

I don’t need to demonize them. I don’t even need to stop caring. But I do need to stay rooted in the stones of fact, so I don’t lose myself in the smoke of words.

Ritual Invitation

Take a piece of paper and draw two columns.
Title one: What was promised.
Title the other: What actually happened.
Fill them in honestly. When you’re done, circle the second column. Whisper: “This is what I can trust.”

Your Turn

Have you ever had to ground yourself in facts when words didn’t match actions?
Share a few lines below — your story may help someone else find clarity in their own ledger.